Friendship Before Relationship

I released a podcast recently on this topic of friendship before relationship and it started a lot of great conversations. We are often shown the #relationshipgoals content online but where is the realistic and practical advice to have a healthy and long lasting relationship?

The foundational piece to a long lasting and healthy relationship is… communication. Communication is the building block to everything else. Respectuful communication is actually where we want to be as our baseline. Even the best relationships have arguments and disagreements (tip: it’s actually healthy to disagree) but how we navigate those situations is what makes or breaks our relationship longevity.

Now this brings in the friendship piece. I heard a saying when I was younger “I will always love you, but right now I don’t like you” and honestly? That’s the perfect way to put it when you’re in the thick of it and both struggling to feel your bestselves. Having that friendship as a foundation ensures that even if you are not enjoying the person right now because of xyz, you still respect them as a friend and peer and therefore can communicate with more ease with how to improve the situation, what you need, and be open to what they need.

Relationships start to breakdown when unkindness starts to creep in. When anger takes over. When you can no longer choose to try and see their side of things. So by working on your friendship this gives you an extra resource when things DO feel hard. Because it’s the human experience - you are going to go through hard things. But are you going to go through them as a team or as competitors? That’s your choice.

So how do you build this foundation? Similar to dating each other, I want you to go on friend dates. Think of the simple things you enjoyed as a teenager. Was it walking around the mall and getting food at the food court? Was it getting a tattoo? Was it going for nature walks or volunteering at the local animal shelter? Whatever YOU enjoyed as a teen that made you feel safe, loved, and full of joy - do that with your partner! It brings back a simpleness, and playfulness that so easily get’s lost as our lives become more focuses on “adult” tasks.

If you give it a try let me know! Comment here or send me a message on Instagram here, I would love to hear all about it.